Domination & Closing vs Equality & Connecting In Service-Based Business Sales

The reason why I decided to use them is something close to my heart. 

My motivation is applying equality in biz relationships vs getting your attention just for manipulation purposes. 

Now when you know openly my intentions let`s break down these 2 approaches in service-based business sales. 

You got at least once in your life this type of message/email:

“Hey, checked your website and social media. We do XYZ. We worked with really big names like XYZ.

This is why we can help you grow XYZ. Can I get 30 minutes of your time to explain what we do for you?”

When you see this you first feel impressed by the big names mentioned.

But then tension appears because someone entered your personal space by asking for time without permission. 

This is soft domination because the person who wrote/sent this knows that a combination of big brands & asking for time works on most people. 

Even if you buy something from this person in the future, at some point you will realize that this biz relationship is not suitable for you. 

Like when a spouse after 20 years of marriage realizes what am I doing with this person. We`re so different. 

A closer approach covered. 

Hm, maybe you got this type of message/email:

“Hey, reading this article <link to article> on your website/LinkedIn company page caught my attention. Provoking way how to show your work. 

Keen to connect to start a conversation. 

P.S. Not selling anything. Maybe you noticed this by the article I added above, but still wanted to verbalize this because communication will be more relaxed :)”

When you see this you first feel satisfied because some invested effort to learn something concretely about you. 

If we are transparent from start about our intentions, everybody wins. 

If you buy something from this person in the future will create a relationship based on equality hence a higher chance both sides will get the desired ROI out of it. 

Connector approach covered. 

The social brain operates in 3 phases when we build relationships with others:

 ➡️Connection – we like to connect with like-minded people who include specific triggers & reasons for connecting.

➡️Mindreading – we like when somebody shows interest in our work while verbalizing openly our needs. We feel comfortable. We want that someone fulfils our biz needs.

➡️Harmonization – we like to buy services from others if other people show clear value for us, proven track record from the past and focus on partnership vs typical closing domination. 

The scientific source for this concept is listed at the end of the article.*

Now when you have a clear awareness of 2 different approaches to sales and scientific concepts about what should work, I will challenge you to think about how you can apply the connector approach. 

I don`t have anything against a closer approach. Many salespeople operate this way. From the outside, they look like invincible superheroes. From the inside, they struggle with the same challenges we all have. Maybe even harder ones. 

In most cases, this will be a faster and more profitable way because connector approach takes time. You need to be wholly invested in the long-term game, and be okay with the fact that many will see you as weird and weak. 

Speaking from personal experience. 

But at the end of the day when I go to sleep, the connector approach brings something which money and vanity metrics can`t pay. 

Inner satisfaction knowing I started connections and got deals which will bring sustainable growth for my clients and my business. 

Equality works. 

And will work forever. 

Money comes as a reward and consequence.

*3 phases of the social brain are explained in the book Wired: Why Our Brains Are Wired To Connect by Matthew Lieberman